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| Developing Your People Skills
In past issues of Best Sites we have touched on subjects like empathy and humility. I see these as people skills as they do not come with the Birthday package but must be learned and developed. Indeed these skills are an integral part of our success in life as well as business. Another such skill is the ability to listen. How well do we listen? I am going to suggest that all too many of us need to make an honest assessment of how well we really do listen. At this point, if I may, let me suggest that reading is just as much a listening skill as is using our ears. To best demonstrate the importance of listening, let me share this event with you. It was July of 1973 and I had become frustrated with the job I had at the time and starting looking elsewhere. One employment agency managed to get me an interview with one of the larger chemical processing plants. At the time I was working as a Sales Technologist in the area of air pollution control and this opportunity seemed a perfect fit. I had done well with the first two interviews and was scheduled to meet the president in just a few days. I felt very confident that the job was mine. The day arrived and showed up looking my best and ready to make an impression. He was a tall and well dressed man that certainly looked the part. After 27 years I can't remember the details of the conversation, but I well remember how it ended! He ask me: "Why do you want to leave your current job?" At that point I expressed some displeasure at my current employer. Suddenly he bolted up and reached out to shake my hand. I thought: "I'm in". Not even close. While shaking my hand he said: "There's two reasons I won't hire you. First, never take a shot at your employer under any circumstances, even if you are right. Second, you haven't listened to a word I've said since you got here. You constantly interrupted me and if I was a customer it sure would not work well, now would it? Talk about a swift kick to the old ego. Didn't feel to good at the time, but sure did me a great deal of good. Do you think I worked on my listening skills after that incident? You bet I did! Of course, knocking the boss was no longer a part of the resume either. Listening is extremely important in building quality relationships at any level. It means paying complete and undivided attention to the other person. None of us appreciates being interrupted while we are speaking. It's both rude and discerning. We all know the feeling when the person we are speaking with suddenly turns and talks to another while we are still in conversation. It certainly gives one the feeling that they care little about what we have to say. Ironically listening well is an easy skill to develop. It really doesn't take a great deal of energy to keep one's mouth shut and pay attention. The speaker also appreciates this and will respect the other party for this simple display of good graces. I can assure you that becoming a champion listener will earn you the respect of all you come into contact with. Moreover it will be a major factor in your successes in life. On the Internet we deal with reading. We have e-mail, forms to fill out and various instructions that we see on a daily basis. To me this is the equivalent of listening. Although there may not be a person actually speaking, we are being ask to pay attention to certain requests or information. I can speak from direct personal experience about the latter subject. Running several sites that accept URL submissions has shown me that there are far too many Internet users that show little respect for the rules (if you like) that are posted on such sites. We have specific standards that need to be met, yet each day we receive far too many sites that come nowhere near qualifying. This is simply because some people do not take the minute or two necessary to read ("listen") the guidelines and simply submit anyway. This only results in wasted time for us and forces us to actually ban submissions from certain domains. I can assure we are not alone in this and there are now many sites (many of the major engines included) who will not accept submissions from certain larger domains on the Net. Listening and reading send a very positive message to the person you are speaking with or whose information or instructions you are reading. It is a demonstration of dignity, good graces and respect. If you really want to "win friends and influence people", I suggest that becoming a champion listener will bring you true riches. Article copyrights © belong to Surfers Choice Internet Awards. Do not copy, in whole or in part, or use anywhere without permission. | |||||||